When speaking with family members: 

• Be clear and specific. When you speak directly about what you need or feel, you take the risk that the other person might not agree or say no to your request, but this also shows respect for the other person’s opinion. When both parties are straightforward, the chances of reaching an understanding are greater. 
• If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If you’re not getting your point across, or you’re getting no response, try again later. Sometimes, it’s just not the right time. 
• Be a good listener. Remember, listening is the most important aspect of communication. 
• Talk about your fears, worries, and needs. This will invite open and meaningful dialogue. Other family members may feel comfortable sharing as a result. 
• Bring up difficult subjects. Discuss things such as finances, insurance, wills, and advance directives. Although these are delicate subjects, preparing for the future can help relieve stress. Chances are that the person you are caring for is also concerned about these issues. 

When speaking with healthcare professionals: 

• Be sure the doctor understands your role. If the person you are caring for is not able (or willing) to take instructions, make sure that the doctor tells you all the vital information.
• Explain the practical side of your situation. This can help the professionals adjust and make practical suggestions in return. For example, you might say to the doctor, ‘It’s better for my job if we can meet early in the morning.’ The doctor might reply, ‘Not a problem. I’ll let my assistant know to schedule us for the first available appointment each time we meet.’
• Keep records of the person’s habits. Take note of any sleeping, eating, and medication habits, as well as any emotional episodes the person you are caring for may be experiencing. The more detailed information you can offer about symptoms and habits, the easier it will be for the doctor to offer the best treatment. 
• Hold conversations in appropriate places. You deserve to have the doctor’s full attention. For important conversations, seek out a private conference room or office, not a waiting room or corridor. 
• Ask about other resources. The doctor’s staff can be invaluable. They can point you towards support groups and even suggest resources that can aid in paying for medications. They can also share in-home care options with you. 
• Write it down. Have all your questions and concerns written down before you speak with the doctor. This simple exercise can help you guard against forgetting something important. The more organised you are, the more help you can get from the physician. 

Downloadable doctor visit worksheet

We know how stressful it can be when you are trying to keep track of the questions you want to remember to ask the doctor on behalf of the person you are caring for. This worksheet offers a central location that will help you keep track of their blood pressure, weight changes, and symptoms accurately for their first and future follow-up visits.

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